The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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