I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's never too late to be topless.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
