i already hear my dad disowning me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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