He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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