i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize