i just sent this text using only my big toe
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This house was built for laser tag.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
