he shaved USA in his pubs
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
