She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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