hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have fence marks all over my body
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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