My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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