i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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