its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
