you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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