You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
