I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
