It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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