Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
