I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
