I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
