Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Who died my cat blue again?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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