Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
