I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
