"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
