Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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