Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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