Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
