and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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