Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
