Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
