You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
