what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
