That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
