We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
