I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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