This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
