walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My penis needs a shock collar
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
