I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
