I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i've created a new STD.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
