Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
