People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize