How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
