new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
