after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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