weddingsv make me drug and hornr
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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