all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
