Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We got so high we made milksteak
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize