Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is my gift to your gina
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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