"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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