i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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