the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
