Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
