let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
BRING THE BAGELS
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
