no, he came in my armpit
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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