my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
