I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
