i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will be naked everywhere
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
