we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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