Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize