Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We smell like vodka and hangover
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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