Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
