So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
