I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize