Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
