just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
