hell yes lets make some ravioli
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
