i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
