the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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