thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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