I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
