put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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