Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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