Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
