Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize