one might say we're banned from that church
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
