Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
