that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
