I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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