so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Randomize
