i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
last night I used snow as a chaser
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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