What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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