Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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