I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
