two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
