Your face is a jimmy john
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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